I left New York on the 26th in a rushed, frenzied state to beat the blizzard (the blizzard that left, what, 3 inches in the city?).
Now, maybe it was because I was in New York City, or because of the sense of urgency to get out of the city as soon as possible, or because I watched Non-Stop on the plane (Liam Neeson saves a hijacked plane, basically), but 9/11 has been a constant on my mind.
I've read an endless amount of articles, and have watched an endless amount of videos since I've been home. I've learned chilling particulars, about the hijackers, about what happened inside of the towers and the planes, about the victims. If you want your nightmares haunted for days, then I highly recommend googling the hijacker's visa photos.
My sudden "fascination", for lack of a better term, with 9/11 has also been vocalized.
"literally wtf is wrong with people this doesn't seem like it's something that happened for real in real life literally wtf" = v accurate transcript of some proclamations I've made
These statements I've made have led to clueless rhetorical questions and expressions about ISIS and Islam extremism. A lot of "This is so sad" and "How can people think hurting other people is what a God wants?"
(I promise I'm trying getting to the point of this horribly written p.o.s. essay thing)
A family member, who shall rename nameless, was immediate to tell me their thoughts on Islam. I was taken aback by how prejudiced these statements were; they were indirectly hateful ("I know not every Muslim is like that, but how do you know the ones that aren't won't snap?"). Very "THEY ARE INFERIOR" in not so many words.
I'd like to disclose that 9/11 was a horribly tragic event. Completely devastating, in every sense of the word. But is blatant islamophobia really any better?
I can't even adequately articulate my feelings about this. I have strong feelings about racism, too, but I feel like this hits an even more particular spot because it involves religion, and believe me, I've struggled with religion.
I've looked at the world differently the last few months. I've always considered myself kind towards others, but lately that's been taken up a notch, especially towards people in the LGBT community and those of other religions.
This has been a smorgasbord of thoughts that make sense in my brain but seemingly do not when typed. The main point I'm trying to make is this: Let's just not be dicks to one another, k?
Thanks for reading, no one!
Autumn
Thursday, February 5, 2015
#23: Get a Massage
101 in 1001
Because my yoga adventure wasn't as stress-reducing as I was hoping it to be, I wanted to find something else to do before my New York auditions. I'd never gotten a massage before, and I thought that would be a good thing to try.
It was relaxing, and I did enjoy it a lot. I was very observant of everything, however, and I wasn't really able to just "get in the zone" like people say they do. I'm sure it was because it was my first time and everything was unfamiliar.
The only thing that was weird was when my masseuse had to massage my front half. I was laying on my stomach when I started, but eventually had to turn over. Kay, maybe I should have left my bra on, because the sheet that was covering me was paper thin – I'm talking tissue-paper thin – and when I turned over, it was immediately BOOBS.
After I got over the fact that I was basically flashing this poor lady, I relaxed again. I will say that 50 minutes sure flies by when you're getting massaged. When I get another one, I'll try 80 minutes I think.
Thanks for reading, no one!
Because my yoga adventure wasn't as stress-reducing as I was hoping it to be, I wanted to find something else to do before my New York auditions. I'd never gotten a massage before, and I thought that would be a good thing to try.
It was relaxing, and I did enjoy it a lot. I was very observant of everything, however, and I wasn't really able to just "get in the zone" like people say they do. I'm sure it was because it was my first time and everything was unfamiliar.
The only thing that was weird was when my masseuse had to massage my front half. I was laying on my stomach when I started, but eventually had to turn over. Kay, maybe I should have left my bra on, because the sheet that was covering me was paper thin – I'm talking tissue-paper thin – and when I turned over, it was immediately BOOBS.
After I got over the fact that I was basically flashing this poor lady, I relaxed again. I will say that 50 minutes sure flies by when you're getting massaged. When I get another one, I'll try 80 minutes I think.
Thanks for reading, no one!
Monday, January 19, 2015
#22: Take a Yoga Class
101 in 1001
A big thing has been going on in my life that I've been too scared to really share much about. Long story short, I'm auditioning in New York City and California for colleges. Preparing for everything has been really time-consuming and frustrating, and I really wanted to de-stress myself the week before I left.
Someone I know from work invited me to try Bikram yoga with them, and I thought this would be a perfect thing to do. I've never really done yoga before, but I'd heard that it's really relaxing, which is what I was looking for.
I knew of the hot-aspect with Bikram yoga (you're in a room that's 90 to 104 degrees and 40% humidity), but holy shit I didn't think it would be so awful. You're sweating so much that you're leaving puddles everywhere, your skin is itchy, hairs, whether they're yours or foreign, are sticking all over you, and you're dizzy.
My heart was beating pretty rapidly, but I felt like I was cheating, in a way. I didn't feel like I was exercising at all, just stretching. Granted, I'm not that flexible right now, so that was somewhat of a challenge, but I didn't feel like I was pushing myself so much that it warranted my heart to beat faster than normal.
Plus, after you're done and you leave the room, you just feel disgusting; drenched with sweat, but also shivering because of the rapid drop in temperatures.
So no, I wouldn't say that this type of yoga necessarily helped me relax and de-stress for auditions. If anything, I was more stressed because I just felt so gross.
But, hey! I tried it.
Thanks for reading, no one!
Autumn
A big thing has been going on in my life that I've been too scared to really share much about. Long story short, I'm auditioning in New York City and California for colleges. Preparing for everything has been really time-consuming and frustrating, and I really wanted to de-stress myself the week before I left.
Someone I know from work invited me to try Bikram yoga with them, and I thought this would be a perfect thing to do. I've never really done yoga before, but I'd heard that it's really relaxing, which is what I was looking for.
My heart was beating pretty rapidly, but I felt like I was cheating, in a way. I didn't feel like I was exercising at all, just stretching. Granted, I'm not that flexible right now, so that was somewhat of a challenge, but I didn't feel like I was pushing myself so much that it warranted my heart to beat faster than normal.
Plus, after you're done and you leave the room, you just feel disgusting; drenched with sweat, but also shivering because of the rapid drop in temperatures.
So no, I wouldn't say that this type of yoga necessarily helped me relax and de-stress for auditions. If anything, I was more stressed because I just felt so gross.
But, hey! I tried it.
Thanks for reading, no one!
Autumn
#21: Buy New Sneakers
101 in 1001
Still overwhelmed at the amount of things that I have to write about. Do you ever realize that you have a shit ton of stuff to do, and are so overwhelmed by that fact that your anxiety is like, "AVOID!" so you just try to push it to the side but then your anxiety is like, "YOU ARE SO BEHIND LOOK AT ALL THAT HAS TO GET DONE" and it's this never ending cycle of avoiding and then getting anxious about avoiding so you avoid that and it's about as fun as a tonsillectomy being done by puppets armed with rusty nails and scissors.
bUT IM HERE LOOK AT HOW PRODUCTIVE I AM
So, I didn't technically buy these. Just as I didn't technically buy my camera. But I'm still counting it, as I am still in the possession of new sneakers and that's all that matters to my cold, materialistic heart.
Still overwhelmed at the amount of things that I have to write about. Do you ever realize that you have a shit ton of stuff to do, and are so overwhelmed by that fact that your anxiety is like, "AVOID!" so you just try to push it to the side but then your anxiety is like, "YOU ARE SO BEHIND LOOK AT ALL THAT HAS TO GET DONE" and it's this never ending cycle of avoiding and then getting anxious about avoiding so you avoid that and it's about as fun as a tonsillectomy being done by puppets armed with rusty nails and scissors.
bUT IM HERE LOOK AT HOW PRODUCTIVE I AM
So, I didn't technically buy these. Just as I didn't technically buy my camera. But I'm still counting it, as I am still in the possession of new sneakers and that's all that matters to my cold, materialistic heart.
These were a gift from my brother for Christmas. He did well. Getting these was perfect timing, actually. Before these, I had two pairs of sneakers: one I've had for five years, and the others that were hand-me-downs from my brother (he only wore them for a few months, praise Jesus). I'm too cheap to justify spending upwards of 50 bucks on tennis shoes. But I'll gladly accept anything anyone is willing to give me!
Thanks for reading, no one!
Autumn
Saturday, January 10, 2015
#18.2: Make 10 DIY Projects; #20.1: Make 10 Projects from Pinterest
After making my advent calendar, I felt really festive and crafty and wanted to try something else. I scoured Pinterest, and saw lots of pins where people would hang their cards like this. I didn't follow a specific one, but rather just took the inspiration out of all of them. Here's how it turned out:
I actually made another one on the other window in our living room, but it was really sparse and full of cards from the bank and the dentist's office and others that were disgustingly hideous.
Thanks for reading, no one!
Autumn
Friday, January 9, 2015
I Read Some Books
101 in 1001 BuzzFeed's 21 Best YA Books of 2013
I read a lot of books (I am better than you!), and I'm praying to the literature gods that I'm not forgetting any.
The Perks of Being a Wallflower: #15
"After his friend commits suicide, smart misfit Charlie is trying to learn to "participate" in life. He befriends a group of interesting older kids who introduce him to partying, but also respect his sensitivity. In letters that Charlie writes to an anonymous stranger, he talks about his family, his friends, and his complicated, often overwhelming, feelings about growing up. Eventually, his longtime crush tells him that he "can't just sit there and put everybody's life ahead of yours and think that counts as love," and he slowly learns to be present in his life."
My friend Jessica knows I read like a madwoman, so she lent this to me thinking I would like it.
I was a bit taken aback when I started reading this; the writing seemed juvenile, rigid and stiff. My immediate thought was "Wow, this is terrible." But then, I realized that this is how the writing was supposed to be; a 14 year old is writing these letters, I shouldn't be expecting Hemmingway. After this dawned on me, I knew that Stephen Chbosky is a genius.
I also think that the way it was written makes the story that much more chilling. This kid is just stating what happens in his letters, and is very blunt about his feelings towards these events, if mentioning them at all. It's almost as if Charlie is scared of everything that life is throwing at him, or doesn't really know what's happening. I don't know, I had a thought that was clear in my head.
Overall, I was so impressed with this book. It really was fantastic, a hauntingly beautiful story. Now I can finally see the movie!
This Song Will Save Your Life: #16; #10
"Elise Dembowski is not afraid of a little hard work. In fact, she embraces it. All her life, she's taken on big, all-encompassing projects. When she's fifteen, she embarks on the biggest, and most important, project of them all: becoming cool: Except she fails. Miserably. And everything falls to pieces.
Now, if possible, Elise's social life is even worse than it was before. Until she stumbles into an underground dance club and opens the door to a world she never knew existed. An inside-out world where, seemingly overnight, a previously uncool high school sophomore can become the hottest new DJ sensation. Elise finally has what she's always wanted: acceptance, friendship, maybe even love. Until the real world threatens to steal it all away.
In a refreshingly genuine and funny voice, Leila Sales delivers an exuberant novel about identity, relationships, and the power of music to bring people together."
This was such a cute story, and really unique; I can honestly say that I've never read a book about DJing before. It was empowering, watching Elise find herself; maybe that's just because I relate to her a lot.
Just One Day: #17; #11
"When sheltered American good girl Allyson first encounters laid-back Dutch actor Willem at an underground performance of Twelfth Night, there's an undeniable spark. So when fate brings them together a second time, Allyson takes an uncharacteristic leap, changes course, and follows Willem to Paris. After just one day together, the spark bursts into a flame . . . until Allyson wakes up after a whirlwind day shocked to discover that Willem is gone.
A life upended in one day turns into a year of self-discovery as Allyson embarks on a journey to break free from a lifetime of limits in order to find her true passions, and maybe even a true love."
Holy f&*@ this was such a good book. I finished it within a few days, and, after I found out that there's a second book from Willem's point of view, immediately put it on hold at the library.
This book was funny, sexy, romantic, witty, and I related to Allyson so much. I'd sell my soul to play her in a movie version.
Thanks for reading, no one!
Autumn
I read a lot of books (I am better than you!), and I'm praying to the literature gods that I'm not forgetting any.
The Perks of Being a Wallflower: #15
"After his friend commits suicide, smart misfit Charlie is trying to learn to "participate" in life. He befriends a group of interesting older kids who introduce him to partying, but also respect his sensitivity. In letters that Charlie writes to an anonymous stranger, he talks about his family, his friends, and his complicated, often overwhelming, feelings about growing up. Eventually, his longtime crush tells him that he "can't just sit there and put everybody's life ahead of yours and think that counts as love," and he slowly learns to be present in his life."
My friend Jessica knows I read like a madwoman, so she lent this to me thinking I would like it.
I was a bit taken aback when I started reading this; the writing seemed juvenile, rigid and stiff. My immediate thought was "Wow, this is terrible." But then, I realized that this is how the writing was supposed to be; a 14 year old is writing these letters, I shouldn't be expecting Hemmingway. After this dawned on me, I knew that Stephen Chbosky is a genius.
I also think that the way it was written makes the story that much more chilling. This kid is just stating what happens in his letters, and is very blunt about his feelings towards these events, if mentioning them at all. It's almost as if Charlie is scared of everything that life is throwing at him, or doesn't really know what's happening. I don't know, I had a thought that was clear in my head.
Overall, I was so impressed with this book. It really was fantastic, a hauntingly beautiful story. Now I can finally see the movie!
This Song Will Save Your Life: #16; #10
"Elise Dembowski is not afraid of a little hard work. In fact, she embraces it. All her life, she's taken on big, all-encompassing projects. When she's fifteen, she embarks on the biggest, and most important, project of them all: becoming cool: Except she fails. Miserably. And everything falls to pieces.
Now, if possible, Elise's social life is even worse than it was before. Until she stumbles into an underground dance club and opens the door to a world she never knew existed. An inside-out world where, seemingly overnight, a previously uncool high school sophomore can become the hottest new DJ sensation. Elise finally has what she's always wanted: acceptance, friendship, maybe even love. Until the real world threatens to steal it all away.
In a refreshingly genuine and funny voice, Leila Sales delivers an exuberant novel about identity, relationships, and the power of music to bring people together."
This was such a cute story, and really unique; I can honestly say that I've never read a book about DJing before. It was empowering, watching Elise find herself; maybe that's just because I relate to her a lot.
Just One Day: #17; #11
"When sheltered American good girl Allyson first encounters laid-back Dutch actor Willem at an underground performance of Twelfth Night, there's an undeniable spark. So when fate brings them together a second time, Allyson takes an uncharacteristic leap, changes course, and follows Willem to Paris. After just one day together, the spark bursts into a flame . . . until Allyson wakes up after a whirlwind day shocked to discover that Willem is gone.
A life upended in one day turns into a year of self-discovery as Allyson embarks on a journey to break free from a lifetime of limits in order to find her true passions, and maybe even a true love."
Holy f&*@ this was such a good book. I finished it within a few days, and, after I found out that there's a second book from Willem's point of view, immediately put it on hold at the library.
This book was funny, sexy, romantic, witty, and I related to Allyson so much. I'd sell my soul to play her in a movie version.
Thanks for reading, no one!
Autumn
Saturday, January 3, 2015
#19: Buy a Camera
I have so many things to catch up on and I'm more overwhelmed than Mitt Romney's campaign manager after another public spew of word vomit. Here we go!
For my graduation present, my mom settled on getting me a camera. Like the selfish piece of human garbage that I am, I have been saying that I wanted a camera for a long time. Like, it's been several years. However, even though I graduated in June, actually getting a camera got put on hold until early December. Which was fine; there weren't too many moments I was dying to document.
But I have one now! And I'm super excited! More excited than a crackhead who sees snow for the first time!
After some brief, skimming of photography websites, we settled on the Canon Powershot SX600.
My first two pictures:
For my graduation present, my mom settled on getting me a camera. Like the selfish piece of human garbage that I am, I have been saying that I wanted a camera for a long time. Like, it's been several years. However, even though I graduated in June, actually getting a camera got put on hold until early December. Which was fine; there weren't too many moments I was dying to document.
But I have one now! And I'm super excited! More excited than a crackhead who sees snow for the first time!
After some brief, skimming of photography websites, we settled on the Canon Powershot SX600.
My first two pictures:
She's beauty and she's grace, she's Miss United States...
Thanks for reading, no one!
Autumn
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